“Get the hell out of my office, Bellflower” he said as I walked in. “But, Sir…” I started to say. He cut me off abruptly: “I know why you’re here. Get out!” his voice growing a bit louder and tinged with a degree of exasperation. “Sir, I want to submit an AA form for transfer,” I quickly blurted out. “You and every other Marine here,” he yelled, “now get the hell out of here. You’ll probably get your wish soon enough.” I didn’t. It was August, 1991, and I was in the Philippines while my old unit, the Second Battalion, Fourth Marines, was in Saudi Arabia for what was shaping up to be the Gulf War. The game was starting and I damn sure didn’t want to be caught riding pine. I never did get there. I went on a jungle patrol and the whole thing was over by the time I got back. Maybe that’s why we underestimated the situation and stepped in some Shiite in the 2003 version.
I hadn’t thought of that in years – not until I read this story by a soldier just as fed up with his role in this war as I am. Apparently, this is a common feeling among those military folks assigned to Kabul – at least if actions taken during our recent attack is any indication. As you likely know by now, insurgents recently attacked the Embassy and ISAF compounds. Reports indicate that personnel charged with administrative, rather than security, duties grabbed their weapons, headed to the wall and returned fire. Despite the absence of a clearly identified target, indeed the insurgents were in a building roughly 1 kilometer away, these personnel expended a significant amount of ammunition in their attempt to “schwack” the bad guy. This is despite the fact that the building itself, much less the insurgents inside, were outside the effective range of the personal weapons used.
Although I do not condone returning fire in the absence of a clearly identified target, I can certainly understand the desire to do something – something that at least makes you feel as if you are contributing. Many folks here, myself included, are underutilized or used wholly outside their skill set. The result is that folks spend their day “coordinating” among various agencies at endless meetings or preparing PowerPoint slides that seem to convey and endless amount of useless “facts” (you can reviews my posts on metrics for clarification here) or any other number of things that makes one feel useless. As we go through our day like this, we are acutely aware of the corruption within the Afghan government that torpedoes our overall efforts at establishing that government’s legitimacy with the populace. We are also aware that insurgents (or my favorite euphemism, malign actors; how is that for sanitization?) are making inroads everywhere but in the south, including in the provinces adjacent to Kabul. Moreover, we see a shift in opinion regarding the viability of the Afghan government after 2014, the time set for US withdrawal.
All of this leads most folks to conclude that the only thing working here is counter-terrorism. In other words, our efforts to rebuild Afghanistan through the tactics of counterinsurgency or COIN are failing, but counter-terrorism is working quite well. Counter-terrorism is essentially the selective targeting of insurgents and their leaders through night raids, drone attacks, and/or conventional operations. In other words, it is the killing that works here (see 11 Sept post). Thus, it becomes almost natural, when the opportunity presents itself, to try and contribute meaningfully, even if that contribution entails possibly killing someone. So, yes, I get what the author of the post linked above is going through. I, however, do not feel the apparent shame he does. I, like all other military folks, signed a blank check to the United States when I joined the military. It is up to the military to use me as they see fit. I may not always agree with how they use me, but I made an agreement. The honor is in living up to that agreement. But, I do wish it were different sometimes.
Indeed, it’s the frustration that gets you. You contemplate the seeming meaningless of your own contributions. You read the casualty reports and seethe with anger. You want to help. You want to take your position on the firing line (although intuitively realizing, at least in my case, that you really are too old for that stuff). Yeah, I get it – all to well. Sometimes though, I wonder if I’d feel better about my contribution to the war effort if my job involved killing. God, forgive me.
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